A very long post, but oh-so-interesting

Before I shame all of you have mocked me for Omaha, I do have a hotel story to tell.

And it's not one of those hotel stories. Maybe some other time. Uh, yeah.

So I walk into the hotel, and the guy behind the counter greets me. By name. Apparently there were only two guests that night, and the other was a guy and already checked in, so by this genius's powers of deduction, he figured out who I was.

And you'd think that with only two guests in the whole hotel, they could keep the rooms straight, right? Wrong. I was given a key and I toddled off to my room. I let myself in, dropped my suitcases, and turned to see a very surprised man on the bed. I bet he was wondering what kind of hotel he had checked into. Apparently a full-service one.

Thank God (maybe) that he was fully dressed. The desk clerk had given me not just the wrong room number, but also the wrong key. It made the continental breakfast the next morning with that one other guest a bit awkward. Made even more so by the thin walls the night before. He liked to sing along to commercial jingles. Loudly.

Speaking of TV, the hotel had more channels than I do at home. Loved. It. And I have a confession: I am in love with not just Omaha, but also Stephen Colbert. Anyone who can make me laugh out loud (okay, and occasionally snort) is a winner. Word of the day: classy.

You might be wondering now, besides watching TV and listening to my weird hotel neighbor, what else did I do? I strolled around Omaha's downtown and Old Market district. So here's my part for Omaha's tourism industry. If you need a yummy pastry go to Delice on 12th and Howard. I had this eclaire-type cream pastry called Napoleon something. So, so good. If you can make this, you will be my new best friend. Enticing, yes?

Moving on. If you need a good bookstore, go to Jackson St. Booksellers. It's really quiet in there, so you can kick back and read away. Two recommendations: (a) please to be reading I Know This Much is True by Wally Lamb and (b) if you walk around this store, make some noise so unsuspecting people can hear you coming. I learned this the hard way. On a related note, I saw two lesbians making out. In the horror/mystery section. Apparently either bookstores in general are a turn-on, or there's just something about the latest Stephen King book that got these two going.

Back to downtown. If you need a good beer, go to Upstream Brewery and may I recommend the raspberry honeywheat ale? I made two new friends there. Two new drunk friends. Last, but not least, if you need a good CD, tape, or record, go to Drastic Plastic. It is conveniently located right across from Delice. I bought an Elvis album (shocking, I know), a Smothers Brothers album, and two Rolling Stones (if I haven't already rubbed it in your face, I'm going to see the Stones next month in Vegas. Face rubbed, bitch. And I need to stop saying bitch.).

As an added bonus, this store played the most eclectic mix of music I have ever heard. Sample: "A Fifth of Beethoven" followed by "Turn! Turn! Turn!" followed by "Amazing Grace," then Weezer's "Sweater Song," CCR's "Proud Mary," then "Jeremy," then "Oh Mickey!" followed by "Good Vibrations." Odd. Raise your hand if you sang along to each. Uh, just me then?

Alright, thus endeth my ode to Omaha. Two thumbs up to that city, so suck on that everyone who mocked me. See how I didn't say bitch? Aaach! That doesn't count!