Seriously, do these things happen to others?

Funny story from a few weeks ago. And by funny, I mean disturbing. And something that would only happen to me.

I was watching TV (and Scrubs really needs to stop sucking and pretending it's Grey's Anatomy--we don't need the "life lessons." I don't enjoy them on Grey's Anatomy--which is horrible, yet I kind of like it--and I don't enjoy them just because Dr. Cox is learning them with me) and I received a phone call. Background: Belle is my dog that died last summer, put to sleep by the WSU vet center.

And with a set-up like that, how could this story disappoint?

Phone: Ring, ring (actually "Pop! Goes My Heart!")
Me: This is Ace.
Person: Is this Ace?
Me: . . . Yes.
Person: Hi, Ace, this is Matt from the WSU vet center. We were calling to see how Belle is doing and how you would say we did in our treatment of her.
Me: Uh, she's dead. The vet center is actually where she was put to sleep. So I'd say she's peaceful* and your treatment, clearly not the best.
Matt: . . .
Me: To be fair, I guess it was pretty good until the whole "There's nothing more we can do" portion.
Matt: . . . Uh, yes . . . Uh, oh here, I see that in your records here a few lines down. (Awkward laugh) Guess I should have read that first.
Me: . . .
Matt: Uh, so overall, though, okay?
Me: Sure. Do you need something Matt?
Matt: Well, the WSU vet center works hard to provide wonderful care facilities for your pet--
Me: But she's dead.
Matt: (totally undeterred) And at a low cost. To do this, we rely on donations.
Me: This is a fund-raising call?
Matt: Uh, yes.
Me: You called me at 8:25 at night, remind me of your failure to fix my dog** and then hit me up for cash?
Matt: Yes. Again, I apologize for the earlier incident.
Me: (Racking my brain to remind myself if he had apologized, and then concluding he considered his awkward laugh a good enough version of an apology) Hey, ass-hat, by earlier incident do you mean my dog's death or your retardation failing to read through my file and reminding me of her death? (Ok, so that was inner-monologue)
Matt: Typically, we ask for $250.
Me: !!!
Matt: WSU vet center is--
Me: Does my file also show I'm a grad student? Does it show that technically I live below the poverty line?***
Matt: Oh yes, here it is. . . A graduate student. So what can you give?
Me: I could give your boss a call and tell him that Captain Cock-sicle made the worst fundraising phone call ever.

Ok, my actual answer was, "I could give $25," but I really wanted to say the other thing.

It was a fairly traumatic call. Luckily, I had a witness. Laura heard most of it, because I cranked up the volume on my phone. Of course, my righteous indignation might have appeared less righteous and more giggly, because I was so stunned by the whole thing that I kept laughing.

So that was fun. And then Laverne went into a coma. Not the best Thursday night ever.

*I believe, and not just because a cartoon says so, that all dogs go to heaven.
** Okay, so I might have been a bit unfair here. They did do everything they could, but come on.
***I'm hoping it doesn't show my credit card bill or mention my proclivity for buying things I can't afford.