There's no place like the ghetto

D.C. Our nation's capital. Home of tall monuments, good restaurants, numerous museums, Don and Mike, and political naughtiness like there's no tomorrow. And two of the juicier naughtiness--Scooter's verdict and army hospital sanitary measures that make Christmas trees on my front lawn seem kind of okay--went down while I was there. And I'm proud to be an American. Oh, D.C.

Ok, so I researched. Crazy-exciting. Fill in the rest yourselves so I can move on to . . .

Ace's touristy escapades in the District. Hit the mall to see the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial, the Vietnam Memorial, and the Korean War Memorial (which is so creepy, by the way. I don't know why I go see it, since I always have nightmares about the larger-than-life soldier statutes coming alive and killing me). FYI, the reflecting pool, not so much reflecting as it was empty. So really just a long concrete ditch. Disappointing.

And I had to see the WWII Memorial, since that was new since my last visit. I was loathe to do so, because of its connection with Holier-Than-Thou Tom Hanks, but saw it I did. It was alright.

Then I went to the museums. The National Gallery is always of favorite of mine, even though it makes me feel that my stick figure drawings are less than beautiful. Apparently, my talents do not extend to drawing. Just ask Laura. She gets at least one drawing a day, telling her I'm hungry or I need coffee or I'm bored or all of the above.

Let's see. The American Indian Museum is excellent and Air and Space is always a winner. The Portrait Gallery might be my new favorite, if only for the portrait of Elvis. The Holocaust Memorial Museum is a must-see, but, shockingly, it is a bit of a downer. Waterproof mascara recommended for the ladies. And, so I don't look sexist, for some of the men.*

I'll post on my O'Meara's adventure later, but let me just mention two highlights from the overall trip. Number one, when flying home yesterday, I saw an Elvis Tribute Artis at O'Hare. Suh-weet. Number two, my hotel neighbors for the last two nights were newlyweds. On the bright side, they save me some cash on pay-per-view. Kidding.

I was pretty ready to be home. My cat was happy to see me. I wasn't sure if she would recognize me, and I was wondering if I was obligated to keep her if she didn't. But she did, so moot point. I did miss her, though. And it was nice to be greeted so happily by here when I walked through the door.

I'm deciding if I'm going on another road trip later this week. How sad is it that I'm basing my ultimate decision on how mad I think my cat will be if I take off again?

Welcome home, Ace.

*For the record, Robert Smith is the only man who can really get away with make-up. And we all know it.