You can ring her bell
My dad has a new cat. Well, not new new, since they've had her for a few months. She's pretty young, though. Somewhere around four or five months. She's pretty cute--dark grey, feisty, and hyper.
When I got here a week or so ago, she was just a little kitten. She would play with with her little mouse toys, balls with annoying bells in them, and random pieces of yarn. She purred non-stop if you even looked at her, and my father and step-mother called her their baby (which is pretty annoying, but they do love her).
This darling little baby kitten, in the course of the last week, though, has changed into a whore. A dirty, dirty whore. Little Maggie is all growed up. And in heat. She's a sex-kitten, if you will (and I will, because I loves the puns).
Since yesterday, she has been walking around the house being all naughty and whore-y. Doing the typical things a bitch in heat will do, including but not limited to yowling non-stop, humping the air, pawing incessantly at the carpet, and just being all-around annoying/disturbing.
She's getting fixed next week. Until then, we have to put up with her whoreishness and be careful not to let her outside, lest the little tramp put out an irresistible vibe to all cats in a twenty-mile radius.
Although my sister just pointed out that she's not a whore, since she (a) is still a virgin (Does that word apply to animals? How about "untapped"? Deflowered? I'm not up on the hip, dirty, zoology slang.) and (b) would give it up for free. So I guess she's just a wanna-be slut. There is a distinction, as my best friend in high school proved. Jen says Maggie should be pitied, because she's just a confused little girl.
Little Maggie, though, is annoying the hell out of me. I can't think of anything more obnoxious than a cat in heat.
Except for maybe the knowledge that I'm going home next week, leaving behind my dad's big screen TV and cable. And clearly Pocatello is growing a bit boring, since I'm writing about Maggie's transition into womanhood. Where's that liquor store again?
When I got here a week or so ago, she was just a little kitten. She would play with with her little mouse toys, balls with annoying bells in them, and random pieces of yarn. She purred non-stop if you even looked at her, and my father and step-mother called her their baby (which is pretty annoying, but they do love her).
This darling little baby kitten, in the course of the last week, though, has changed into a whore. A dirty, dirty whore. Little Maggie is all growed up. And in heat. She's a sex-kitten, if you will (and I will, because I loves the puns).
Since yesterday, she has been walking around the house being all naughty and whore-y. Doing the typical things a bitch in heat will do, including but not limited to yowling non-stop, humping the air, pawing incessantly at the carpet, and just being all-around annoying/disturbing.
She's getting fixed next week. Until then, we have to put up with her whoreishness and be careful not to let her outside, lest the little tramp put out an irresistible vibe to all cats in a twenty-mile radius.
Although my sister just pointed out that she's not a whore, since she (a) is still a virgin (Does that word apply to animals? How about "untapped"? Deflowered? I'm not up on the hip, dirty, zoology slang.) and (b) would give it up for free. So I guess she's just a wanna-be slut. There is a distinction, as my best friend in high school proved. Jen says Maggie should be pitied, because she's just a confused little girl.
Little Maggie, though, is annoying the hell out of me. I can't think of anything more obnoxious than a cat in heat.
Except for maybe the knowledge that I'm going home next week, leaving behind my dad's big screen TV and cable. And clearly Pocatello is growing a bit boring, since I'm writing about Maggie's transition into womanhood. Where's that liquor store again?
posted by Ace | 12:43 PM
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