Lowering the bar
I have to buy a new cell phone. Apparently if you drop your cell too often, the phone stops working. It’s a pretty bad design flaw in my opinion. But, regardless, I’ll still be heading off this afternoon to price a new one.
I need a new provider, too, since Cingular, in my opinion, is the cell service provider of the devil. I’m leaning towards Verizon, even though their commercials suck. They have made, “Can you hear me now?” the second-most annoying phrase in American culture. While it narrowly edged out the Joey-inspired, “How you doin’?” it was beat by “Wazz uuuuuup!!”
Hmmm, I thought I had a point when I started typing, but maybe not. Just another symptom of my Alzheimer’s. I lost an entire outfit this morning that I had laid out for the day on the chair in my bedroom. Somewhere between when I went to bed last night and when I woke up this morning, I moved it. I could have sworn it was there. I could have sworn I put it there.
Maybe I don’t so much have Alzheimer’s as I’m a sleepwalker. I doubt this, since I’m the heaviest sleeper you’ll ever meet. One of my friends says that I hibernate when I go to bed. Apparently I can sleep through poker games, loud movies, garbage disposals, car alarms, people shaking me, etc. You’d think I grew up in downtown L.A and just learned to sleep through a lot of noise. Although Pocatello has often been compared to the city of angels. I’d match my Pocatello street smarts against any L.A. gang member’s any day.
And I’d get my ass kicked.
Speaking of asses getting kicked, this is just an FYI to all my friends: please don’t send me anymore gay forwards. I’m so tired of opening my email to find “inspirational” stories, or health warnings that were allegedly sent by a doctor, or cutesy pictures of your kids. Have you met me? What would make you think I would want to see these things? Unless it’s naked pictures of Elvis, don’t bother.
The only person who is excluded from the cutesy pictures is Heather, and that’s because my nephews are cute and since they are blood, it is acceptable. Also, the more cutesy pictures I have of these boys, the more blackmail I’ll have on them when they are teenagers.
God, I’m a good aunt.
I need a new provider, too, since Cingular, in my opinion, is the cell service provider of the devil. I’m leaning towards Verizon, even though their commercials suck. They have made, “Can you hear me now?” the second-most annoying phrase in American culture. While it narrowly edged out the Joey-inspired, “How you doin’?” it was beat by “Wazz uuuuuup!!”
Hmmm, I thought I had a point when I started typing, but maybe not. Just another symptom of my Alzheimer’s. I lost an entire outfit this morning that I had laid out for the day on the chair in my bedroom. Somewhere between when I went to bed last night and when I woke up this morning, I moved it. I could have sworn it was there. I could have sworn I put it there.
Maybe I don’t so much have Alzheimer’s as I’m a sleepwalker. I doubt this, since I’m the heaviest sleeper you’ll ever meet. One of my friends says that I hibernate when I go to bed. Apparently I can sleep through poker games, loud movies, garbage disposals, car alarms, people shaking me, etc. You’d think I grew up in downtown L.A and just learned to sleep through a lot of noise. Although Pocatello has often been compared to the city of angels. I’d match my Pocatello street smarts against any L.A. gang member’s any day.
And I’d get my ass kicked.
Speaking of asses getting kicked, this is just an FYI to all my friends: please don’t send me anymore gay forwards. I’m so tired of opening my email to find “inspirational” stories, or health warnings that were allegedly sent by a doctor, or cutesy pictures of your kids. Have you met me? What would make you think I would want to see these things? Unless it’s naked pictures of Elvis, don’t bother.
The only person who is excluded from the cutesy pictures is Heather, and that’s because my nephews are cute and since they are blood, it is acceptable. Also, the more cutesy pictures I have of these boys, the more blackmail I’ll have on them when they are teenagers.
God, I’m a good aunt.
posted by Ace | 9:24 AM
2 Comments:
Go for the Alzheimer's, it sounds more interesting.
I'm glad others compare Pocatello to L.A. and not just me.
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