Winning is fun. Unless you're a loser.

Just a few quick notes on the Golden Globes last night. I had to watch some of it, since I had some money riding on a few of the categories. And I like to judge celebrities for their hair (Penelope Cruz--holy hell!), clothes (Mariah Carey--oh my), and poor choices in other areas (Kevin Bacon, please see my following comment for Joan Rivers on plastic surgery).

Celebrities are here for my amusement. So I don't feel badly for judging them. If it hurts their feelings, they can just go count all their money and laugh at all of us little people, who have to budget for dog food (Fatty eats a lot. A. Lot.)

A) Joan Rivers needs to stop with the plastic surgery. Ew. When your eyebrows meet your hairline, it's time to just say no more. And she needs to stop drinking before doing live TV. She said some of the stupidest things ever. Stupider than half the things that come out of my mouth.

B) Steve Carell wins for funniest acceptance speech ever. He claimed that his wife wrote it for him, and my favorite part was when he said, "And I'd like to thank the cast and crew, without whom I wouldn't be standing here." He then muttered, "Well, I don't know how true that is." I snorted out loud.

C) Natalie Portman needs to be reintroduced to a concept I like to call "eating." Double ew.

D) Did anyone else find it hysterical that William "I'm on the ORIGINAL CSI, dammit!" Petersen and Pamela Anderson were teamed up to present? No? Just me, then?