An open letter to ad morons
Dear Advertising Genius,
While watching one of my favorite TV shows last night, I was able to view your latest anti-smoking commercial. Let us all pause for a moment to bask in your unadulterated, God-given marketing talent.
Pause done.
The specific commercial I’m referring to is one in a series where two little kids—a boy and a girl, and cartoons, no less—are frolicking about. As their romance and passion reach unheard of highs, they prepare to kiss. Unfortunately, they are distracted by something. In this specific spot, it is a bat flying out of a pipe. The boy pauses to watch the nighttime mammal’s beautiful, soaring flight, whilst the girl investigates the pipe. So much sexual imagery, I’m still a-tingle.
The girl then discovers the rotting body of some animal—a fox? a raccoon? a possum? Who knows? That’s half the fun!—which is being swarmed by maggots. And I find that not enough TV spots in primetime have maggots front and center. Hats off, dear friend. All the way off.
The boy is brought back from gazing adoringly at the bat and turns to resume his embrace with the girl. Moving in for the kill, he notices she has something sticking out of her mouth. In another burst of your pure brilliance, we all—and by we all, I mean all the viewers who aren’t already running from the room after seeing the dead body and the wriggling maggots—are on the edge of our seats. What could she possibly have done, that sly minx?
In the next shot, we see that she has placed the rotting carcass in her mouth.
Brill-freakin-iant.
The tag line? “Kissing a smoker is just as gross.”
I bet the Marlboro Man is shaking in his boots. If that isn’t enough to keep those crazy kids off those cancer-sticks, I just don’t know what is. And who cares if it just makes others sick? Not you, oh Marketing Master.
Is that a dead animal in your mouth or are you just happy to see me?
Ah, the wit of this commercial. And it’s overwhelming appropriateness. You definitely toed the line of poor taste, but, thank the Lord, you didn’t cross it. You really could have offended/sickened a great majority of people. And I’m glad you didn’t give in to your baser instincts and go for hyperbole. Because I would hate to exaggerate. Your connection is clear: cigarettes equal dead animals. No embellishment here, right adverting gods?
I just really wanted to thank you for airing such a wonderful and inspired commercial.
Well done. Well freaking done.
While watching one of my favorite TV shows last night, I was able to view your latest anti-smoking commercial. Let us all pause for a moment to bask in your unadulterated, God-given marketing talent.
Pause done.
The specific commercial I’m referring to is one in a series where two little kids—a boy and a girl, and cartoons, no less—are frolicking about. As their romance and passion reach unheard of highs, they prepare to kiss. Unfortunately, they are distracted by something. In this specific spot, it is a bat flying out of a pipe. The boy pauses to watch the nighttime mammal’s beautiful, soaring flight, whilst the girl investigates the pipe. So much sexual imagery, I’m still a-tingle.
The girl then discovers the rotting body of some animal—a fox? a raccoon? a possum? Who knows? That’s half the fun!—which is being swarmed by maggots. And I find that not enough TV spots in primetime have maggots front and center. Hats off, dear friend. All the way off.
The boy is brought back from gazing adoringly at the bat and turns to resume his embrace with the girl. Moving in for the kill, he notices she has something sticking out of her mouth. In another burst of your pure brilliance, we all—and by we all, I mean all the viewers who aren’t already running from the room after seeing the dead body and the wriggling maggots—are on the edge of our seats. What could she possibly have done, that sly minx?
In the next shot, we see that she has placed the rotting carcass in her mouth.
Brill-freakin-iant.
The tag line? “Kissing a smoker is just as gross.”
I bet the Marlboro Man is shaking in his boots. If that isn’t enough to keep those crazy kids off those cancer-sticks, I just don’t know what is. And who cares if it just makes others sick? Not you, oh Marketing Master.
Is that a dead animal in your mouth or are you just happy to see me?
Ah, the wit of this commercial. And it’s overwhelming appropriateness. You definitely toed the line of poor taste, but, thank the Lord, you didn’t cross it. You really could have offended/sickened a great majority of people. And I’m glad you didn’t give in to your baser instincts and go for hyperbole. Because I would hate to exaggerate. Your connection is clear: cigarettes equal dead animals. No embellishment here, right adverting gods?
I just really wanted to thank you for airing such a wonderful and inspired commercial.
Well done. Well freaking done.
posted by Ace | 8:40 PM
1 Comments:
I think the commercial where the boy puts the hairball in his mouth is pretty great too. And you're right, those commercials are pretty Freudian.
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