I Got Something to Say!
Man, I love Halloween. To be more specific, I love Halloween candy. I love being an adult and not having to go out in the cold weather to get Halloween candy.
So I went to a Halloween party on Saturday night. Since I’m a firm believer in always looking my sexiest, I decided to go as Jerry Blank from Strangers With Candy. If by sexy, I mean hideous and inappropriate.
I got to wear a fat suit and there was enough hairspray holding up my hair to last me the rest of my life. And my make-up would have been the envy of any drag queen.
I also decided to remain in character for the entire party, which meant that I got to turn everything into a poorly-disguised sexual innuendo. So that was fun and I’m sure wildly appreciated by all the other party-goers. In my defense, they only encouraged me by saying things like, “I had to glue my mustache on,” and “Will someone hold my rum balls?” and “I’m going outside now.” Just begging for my comments, really.
My personal favorite was when I claimed that my lady-bits were as dry as a summer day in Mexico. For the record, this is ABSOLUTELY something Jerry would say. I am nothing if not committed. When I choose a role, I play it for all its worth, regardless of the disgusted looks on people’s faces.
I also discovered that my fat-suit provided a ready-made shelf to hold my drinks. That’s right, I could place the beer on my padded stomach. Gave me a new appreciation for a man with a nice beer belly.
Uh, not really.
But I did win for “Best Popular Culture Reference.” I like to win because, as Mr. Noblet says, no one is friends with a failure.
No one.
Happy Halloween.
So I went to a Halloween party on Saturday night. Since I’m a firm believer in always looking my sexiest, I decided to go as Jerry Blank from Strangers With Candy. If by sexy, I mean hideous and inappropriate.
I got to wear a fat suit and there was enough hairspray holding up my hair to last me the rest of my life. And my make-up would have been the envy of any drag queen.
I also decided to remain in character for the entire party, which meant that I got to turn everything into a poorly-disguised sexual innuendo. So that was fun and I’m sure wildly appreciated by all the other party-goers. In my defense, they only encouraged me by saying things like, “I had to glue my mustache on,” and “Will someone hold my rum balls?” and “I’m going outside now.” Just begging for my comments, really.
My personal favorite was when I claimed that my lady-bits were as dry as a summer day in Mexico. For the record, this is ABSOLUTELY something Jerry would say. I am nothing if not committed. When I choose a role, I play it for all its worth, regardless of the disgusted looks on people’s faces.
I also discovered that my fat-suit provided a ready-made shelf to hold my drinks. That’s right, I could place the beer on my padded stomach. Gave me a new appreciation for a man with a nice beer belly.
Uh, not really.
But I did win for “Best Popular Culture Reference.” I like to win because, as Mr. Noblet says, no one is friends with a failure.
No one.
Happy Halloween.
posted by Ace | 12:48 PM
1 Comments:
I've seen a couple episodes of "Strangers with Candy." Hilarious! Amy Sedaris is actually pretty, but you wouldn't guess it based on her character.
As part of your Halloween character, did you chew your food like she does?
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