Phonetics are phun
These are things that I think only happen to me. (Well, that’s not exactly true. One of my friends and I have what we call our “Larry David” contest to see who can either attract the most bizarre-o people to them or have just some weird experiences. We tie. A lot.) Anyways, you know how sometimes you start to say a word, change your mind in the middle of the word to say something else, and come up with a non-word? Like, if you’re trying to say “good morning” and then switch it to “hello,” you say something like “goo-low.”
Yeah, so I’m hoping you’re still following along.
Well, a while ago I was reading a book while I was walking in the library. First mistake: I should know better than try to walk and do something else. Always ends badly. Ok, so I’m walking and looking down. I start to go through a doorway and bump into someone else. I start to say “Excuse me,” but he’s already saying that. Not wanting to look stupid—mistake two: why would I bother with this thought-process, since I should know how it’s going to end up anyways—I decide to say “Sorry.” Sounds normal, yes? To your average person, this would have worked well.
Unfortunately, the Larry David-syndrome kicked in. I combined the two phrases. When I say “excuse me” I typically drop the e, and just say, “’cuse me.” My Idaho accent at its finest. So this was down to “’cu” and then I tossed an absent-minded “sorry” onto that. The result was something that sounded like “Scar-y.” Not “scary”, mind you, but “scar” plus an “ee” sound at the end. Still no problem, right? Well, then I looked up and saw the person I just uttered this “scar-y” word to. And guess what he had on his cheek? A huge (seriously, like a two-inch) scar. So my verbal mistake has just made me look like a class-action, well, you know. As one of my friends would say, a See You In Toledo.
It makes me feel better, though, knowing that other people also have word problems. In this light, I just want to share some lyrics from the upcoming album from Mr. Britney Spears, or Kevin Federline:
"Back then, they called me K-Fed, but now you can call me Daddy instead."
"Go ahead and say whatcha wanna/I'm gonna sell about two mil, oh, then I'm a goner/I know you all wish you was in my position/Cause I keep gettin' in situations that you wish you was in, cousin/Steppin' in this game and y'all ain't got a clue/Getting anxious? Go take a peep/ I'm starrin' in your magazines now every day and week/But maybe baby you can wait and see/ Until then all these Pavarottis followin' me."
Pavarottis? Pavarottis! Are we all picturing a big fat Italian guy chasing him around, singing opera? Do you think that this mental genius perhaps meant paparazzi? Well I'm seeing why Ms. White Trash would have fallen head-over-heels for this winner. Class-y.
Yeah, so I’m hoping you’re still following along.
Well, a while ago I was reading a book while I was walking in the library. First mistake: I should know better than try to walk and do something else. Always ends badly. Ok, so I’m walking and looking down. I start to go through a doorway and bump into someone else. I start to say “Excuse me,” but he’s already saying that. Not wanting to look stupid—mistake two: why would I bother with this thought-process, since I should know how it’s going to end up anyways—I decide to say “Sorry.” Sounds normal, yes? To your average person, this would have worked well.
Unfortunately, the Larry David-syndrome kicked in. I combined the two phrases. When I say “excuse me” I typically drop the e, and just say, “’cuse me.” My Idaho accent at its finest. So this was down to “’cu” and then I tossed an absent-minded “sorry” onto that. The result was something that sounded like “Scar-y.” Not “scary”, mind you, but “scar” plus an “ee” sound at the end. Still no problem, right? Well, then I looked up and saw the person I just uttered this “scar-y” word to. And guess what he had on his cheek? A huge (seriously, like a two-inch) scar. So my verbal mistake has just made me look like a class-action, well, you know. As one of my friends would say, a See You In Toledo.
It makes me feel better, though, knowing that other people also have word problems. In this light, I just want to share some lyrics from the upcoming album from Mr. Britney Spears, or Kevin Federline:
"Back then, they called me K-Fed, but now you can call me Daddy instead."
"Go ahead and say whatcha wanna/I'm gonna sell about two mil, oh, then I'm a goner/I know you all wish you was in my position/Cause I keep gettin' in situations that you wish you was in, cousin/Steppin' in this game and y'all ain't got a clue/Getting anxious? Go take a peep/ I'm starrin' in your magazines now every day and week/But maybe baby you can wait and see/ Until then all these Pavarottis followin' me."
Pavarottis? Pavarottis! Are we all picturing a big fat Italian guy chasing him around, singing opera? Do you think that this mental genius perhaps meant paparazzi? Well I'm seeing why Ms. White Trash would have fallen head-over-heels for this winner. Class-y.
posted by Ace | 9:10 AM
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