Freedom, I won't let you down, but I will not give you up
I can't even begin to tell you all how happy and relived I am right now. I'm sure you all, like me, have been nervously following the long ordeal of America's sweetheart. Twenty-three days, my friends. Twenty-three long days. But it's over now. Thank baby Jesus.
That's right. Paris is free.
After serving some hard time, Paris Hilton is out of jail. I thought it was my duty (heh-heh, duty) to let everyone know, because the media has failed us yet again. Instead of informing us of this momentous occasion, the media has been keeping a tight lid on it, the Watergate of the 21st century. So I figured no one knew. She should do a big/unnecessary interview with a famous journalist. Like the creepy egomaniac with big glasses and suspenders. That would be awe. Some.
Seriously, could there be anything else on TV today except coverage of our favorite anorexic leaving jail? Isn't there some kind of conflict in the Middle East or some confusion on the vice president's role in the three branches of the federal government? Something, anything, more newsworthy than the blonde twig from The Simple Life? And she's not even the semi-cool one (semi-cool only because her "dad" rocked in the 80s).
In other news, my interview went well. At least from my perspective. But I must say that I enjoyed six hours of people asking me all about me. I'm my favorite topic, after Elvis. And I enjoyed a very nice lunch and delicious dinner, as well. Tomorrow, bright and freaking early, I take off for Ole Miss. Jackson, Mississippi, here I come.
And how about no more fuck-tarded comments on my site regarding what exactly constitutes the South? That would be fantastic. The South is more than just the states who got all uppity back in the 1860s. That's a really simplistic definition of the South. I define the South as any state that is full of people with funny accents who love Nascar. So Kentucky, just FYI, is part of the South, even though it stuck with the good guys during the Civil War. History lesson complete, bitches.
That's right. Paris is free.
After serving some hard time, Paris Hilton is out of jail. I thought it was my duty (heh-heh, duty) to let everyone know, because the media has failed us yet again. Instead of informing us of this momentous occasion, the media has been keeping a tight lid on it, the Watergate of the 21st century. So I figured no one knew. She should do a big/unnecessary interview with a famous journalist. Like the creepy egomaniac with big glasses and suspenders. That would be awe. Some.
Seriously, could there be anything else on TV today except coverage of our favorite anorexic leaving jail? Isn't there some kind of conflict in the Middle East or some confusion on the vice president's role in the three branches of the federal government? Something, anything, more newsworthy than the blonde twig from The Simple Life? And she's not even the semi-cool one (semi-cool only because her "dad" rocked in the 80s).
In other news, my interview went well. At least from my perspective. But I must say that I enjoyed six hours of people asking me all about me. I'm my favorite topic, after Elvis. And I enjoyed a very nice lunch and delicious dinner, as well. Tomorrow, bright and freaking early, I take off for Ole Miss. Jackson, Mississippi, here I come.
And how about no more fuck-tarded comments on my site regarding what exactly constitutes the South? That would be fantastic. The South is more than just the states who got all uppity back in the 1860s. That's a really simplistic definition of the South. I define the South as any state that is full of people with funny accents who love Nascar. So Kentucky, just FYI, is part of the South, even though it stuck with the good guys during the Civil War. History lesson complete, bitches.
posted by Ace | 7:49 PM
9 Comments:
I'm from the South and yes, I agree Kentucky is in the South. What is wrong with our educational system when people don't know that Kentucky is in the South. For heaven's sake, it is south of the Mason-Dixon line. Gracious!
Oh, you're just a bigot. My bad.
What about West Virginia? It's below the Mason-Dixon line, but it's not the SOUTH. They fought for the so-called "good" guys AND they talk "funny" there and love NAZCAR.
Explain that one, cunt-nut.
I don't really think that qualifies as being a bigot.
I gotta throw in my two pennies here.
Merriam-Webster defines a bigot as: a person who constantly and stubbornly holds a particular point of view concerning a complete group of people; ie, "I define the South as any state that is full of people with funny accents who love Nascar."
What if I were to say that all Idahoans love potatoes, gems, and rodeos? That would be a gross and unfair generalization of one group of people. Please refrain from making such blanket statements in the future, and please cease writing a blog if you do not wish people to comment on said writings.
Jerome
ps -- I was born and raised in KY, and I don't talk funny or love Nascar. And I certainly wouldn't lump myself in to the same categories as those niggas in Mississippi.
i wouldn't say that you are a bigot -- that's a bit harsh. i think it's just that your "people talk funny and love nascar" comment is seen as negative to most people. if you were to say that you define the south as a place where people are super-friendly, well-read, and love fine culture, then people wouldn't feel the need to jump all over you. there are positive generalizations and negative generalizations, man.
if it matters, i'm from western maryland but i don't consider myself a southerner. Though I love the food! Bring on the marmalade n buscuits, mama!
Seriously people, here is a thought, if you don't like the blog, DON'T READ IT! Such controversy...
p.s. People from Idaho do like potatoes, gems, and rodeos.
THEY DON'T CALL IT "BLOODY KANSAS" FOR NUTHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A) Seriously? "Cunt-nut"? Awesome. Well done.
B) It's called sarcasm. I'm sure that there's more to Kentucky than accents and NASCAR. But thanks for pointing out that my one-sentence summary of an entire state fell short of truly capturing it. I'm at a loss.
C) It's also called MY blog. I can actually write whatever I want. If I want to mock Kentucky, I actually can. If I want to write about the glory that is The Brady Bunch, so be it. If you have nothing better to do than to dissect my entries, I would suggest getting cable.
D) Mock Idaho all you want and make all the generalizations you care to about that state. It'll be hard, but I think I'll be able to survive if you do.
E) If you find my comments "bigoted" and choose not to return to my site unless I make it clear that I am kidding, I think I'll be able to survive that too.
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