Cat burglar
Guess which pet owner of the year has three (yes, 1, 2, 3) pictures of her cat?
I've owned the cat for nine years, and have three pictures. Do the math on that one. In my defense* I mean that I have three pictures that are just of the cat. I don't want one that's of the cat and me, or the cat and the dogs, or whatever. I have a few of those.
The Skirt is still missing, so I'm making little flyers to hang up around the neighborhood. And I need a picture. So I had to dig through photo albums last night. The most recent picture I have of her that is just of her is from 4 years ago. Luckily, she has aged well. Except for the fat skirt. Maybe I should have taken her in to get some glamour shots. She's nine, which is past middle-age for a cat. And we all know there's no better way to celebrate aging gracefully than getting some lovely, tacky glamour shots.
I do miss the cat, and I feel badly that she's still gone. These sad feelings, though, ease a bit whenever I think of not having to clean out the litter box. Is there a grosser thing to have in your house than a box where an animal has just popped a squat? Ew. Even though I clean mine twice a day, it still makes me want to vomit.
Ok, I have to work now, but please to be enjoying Stacy's list of things she'd never say. It provided me with two straight minutes of pure, unadulterated laughter on this rainy Tuesday morning.
*One of my friends pointed out that the phrase "In my defense" is one of my most common. Apparently, I'm always having to defend myself. As in: "In my defense, the store was having a clearance on Elvis-themed bath products." Or: "In my defense, the goddamn baby wouldn't stop crying and someone in the theatre had to instruct its mother on what God invented babysitters for." Or: "In my defense, there were only three cookies left and four people sitting there. Someone would have been left cookie-less even if I hadn't eaten all three of the cookies." Or: "In my defense, someone chose to put The Brady Bunch Variety Hour on DVD. I didn't want their hard work to go unnoticed, so I had to rent it and watch it four times."
I've owned the cat for nine years, and have three pictures. Do the math on that one. In my defense* I mean that I have three pictures that are just of the cat. I don't want one that's of the cat and me, or the cat and the dogs, or whatever. I have a few of those.
The Skirt is still missing, so I'm making little flyers to hang up around the neighborhood. And I need a picture. So I had to dig through photo albums last night. The most recent picture I have of her that is just of her is from 4 years ago. Luckily, she has aged well. Except for the fat skirt. Maybe I should have taken her in to get some glamour shots. She's nine, which is past middle-age for a cat. And we all know there's no better way to celebrate aging gracefully than getting some lovely, tacky glamour shots.
I do miss the cat, and I feel badly that she's still gone. These sad feelings, though, ease a bit whenever I think of not having to clean out the litter box. Is there a grosser thing to have in your house than a box where an animal has just popped a squat? Ew. Even though I clean mine twice a day, it still makes me want to vomit.
Ok, I have to work now, but please to be enjoying Stacy's list of things she'd never say. It provided me with two straight minutes of pure, unadulterated laughter on this rainy Tuesday morning.
*One of my friends pointed out that the phrase "In my defense" is one of my most common. Apparently, I'm always having to defend myself. As in: "In my defense, the store was having a clearance on Elvis-themed bath products." Or: "In my defense, the goddamn baby wouldn't stop crying and someone in the theatre had to instruct its mother on what God invented babysitters for." Or: "In my defense, there were only three cookies left and four people sitting there. Someone would have been left cookie-less even if I hadn't eaten all three of the cookies." Or: "In my defense, someone chose to put The Brady Bunch Variety Hour on DVD. I didn't want their hard work to go unnoticed, so I had to rent it and watch it four times."
posted by Ace | 8:42 AM
1 Comments:
Stacy's list was a funny, funny list, indeed. There were, though, a few things on Stacy's list that I would say. For example, I do love socks; but only if they have cute designs on them. And I did once brag that my abs were really tight; even made someone feel them. But that was a billion years ago, before I had kids.
Post a Comment
<< Home