You're so vain, you probably think this post is about you

So I'm a bit broke. Has less to do with work/jobs than it does with traveling/being financially irresponsible. Luckily, in case you are worried, there are things you can do to help.

First, send my money. I like cash. A lot.

Second, pay for my dog's food. She eats. A lot.

Third, buy me lots of birthday presents. While this won't increase my cash flow, per se, it will make me happy. I like presents. A lot.

If none of these options seems like fun, then perhaps you are a selfish person. Maybe you should think about your selfishness a little, huh? I mean, take a look in the mirror. Do you like the selfish bastard staring back? Sigh. What on earth is this world coming to? Maybe it's time you put other people first, do you think?

And guess what song is currently stuck in my head? I'll be walking into a party this weekend like I'm walking onto a yacht . . .