Winter fun

So two things from today that sum up why I should stay inside my house. By myself.

First, I was driving around town this morning doing errands and listening to talk radio. When it went to commercial, I switched over to CD. Unfortunately, I have to crank up the volume when my stereo is on talk radio, so when I went to CD the music came blaring out. I happened to be at a stoplight. And I happened to have "Tainted Love" in. And I happened to be stopped at the light next to one of my students. Who heard the loud eighties music and looked over. Again, unfortunately, I didn't really realize how loud the music was and by the time I figured out that a) it was very loud and b) people were staring, I was already singing along.

As soon as I saw the student, my choices went rapidly through my mind. First, I could turn down the music and give the student an embarrassed wave hello. Second, I could just go with it and nod to the kid, and then keep playing loud Soft Cell. Third, I could pretend the music wasn't emanating from my car, and fake out the student by grabbing my cell phone and pretending that I wasn't lip-synching but rather that I had been talking on my phone all along.

I went with option three.

Because I am a retard.

Second, I went for a bit of a walk today. I glanced down at my dog yesterday and was stunned, yet again, by how fat she is. I started thinking about her weight problems and her neurotic nature and decided that the two are intricately linked.

My dog is fat because she doesn't have high enough self-confidence. Of course, I call her Fatty everyday. My sister says that if my dog was a human, she would be a cutter.

Anyways, I decided that something needed to be done about the fat issue. Maybe if she slims down, she can start loving herself more. And the cat less. So we are going to be taking daily walks, until the weather warms up to the point where we can actually jog to burn off the Kibbles. On her.

So we go for a walk and can I just say that apparently I missed the memo that if you live in Pullman you are not to shovel your walk. Ever. Seriously, maybe one in every ten houses had a clear sidewalk. And I'm being optimistic here. And they weren't just snowy walks, they were icy, dangerous, break-out-the-cane-yet-again walks. But I survived. And the one time I did fall, only some little kid saw.

My fat little dog makes quite the spectacle, though, when we are out for walks. She runs to the absolute end of the leash and the brain on her can't figure out that maybe she'd quit choking if she'd just drop back a few inches. She also *relieves* herself every 20 feet. It is very charming. And since it is so cold, she has to wear her sweater. As you can see in the above picture, for today's walk I chose the least gay one she owns. But the horizontal stripes are not slimming on Fatty. We might have to rethink the fashion choices for her.

Oh, and she tried to eat a rock on the walk. She's not just a looker, that one.