Bad jobs

So the other night, a few of us were talking about jobs we have had. One of the worst I have ever had is working retail in the men’s department at J.C.Penney’s. My manager was constantly telling me to wear shorter skirts and flirt with the older men. Clearly in Pocatello, sexual harassment doesn’t exist, because it is always 1953.

Anyways, one of the highlights from that job was when I was tapped to be a public relations associate. That’s a fancy way of saying I got to wear costumes and wander around, greeting kids.

I rocked at that job. Oh yes, I said rocked. Because in my world, it is always 1987.

I dressed up as quite a few characters over my two-year tenure at Penney’s, including a bear, a cookie, and (the holy grail of character dress-up) Barney. For those of you who don’t know, Barney is a big, purpley dinosaur who sings gay songs and loves kids. But not in an inappropriate way. Allegedly.

I got fired from this job, by the way.

One day, I was bored with walking around in the Barney costume and waving at kids (and doing this little Barney dance, which don’t even ask me to perform for you, because I won’t. Maryanne.), so I wandered over to visit one of my friends. She just happened to work in the lingerie department. And I thought it would be funny to hold up a naughty little negligee to my Barney body. I laughed. My friend laughed.

The store manager who just happened by right then did not laugh.

Thus endeth my dressing-up days at J.C.Penney’s.